The Most Wonderful Thyme of the Year



2 oz Thyme Infused Gin (instructions below)

Juice of 1/2 Apple

Combine in shaker, shake your apple-loving brains out, pour over crushed ice.


Apple Fan

Instructions for Thyme Infused Gin:

1) Pour gin into a jar (NOTE: If you plan on drinking 750ml, 1L, or any other standard bottle size amount of this infusion, just leave it in the bottle; I REPEAT: leave it in the bottle)

2) Get some thyme and put it into the same jar (NOTE: If you left the gin in its original container, do NOT put the thyme into a separate jar. Put it in the bottle; I REPEAT: put it in the bottle)

3) Allow some time to pass. Shake the jar (or bottle) occasionally. For those who thrive on specifics, shake it precisely 32 times a day. Just because you’re being an asshole. Calm down. Do what feels right. Follow your heart. I’m sorry I was so harsh before. I just want to see you spread your wings.

4) Once you reach the taste you want, strain the mixture over a couple of coffee filters into a new jar (NOTE: or bottle) large enough to hold your yield.

5) Enjoy.

6) Share this article with all of your friends and family and coworkers.

This drink was fantastic and the best mix I could come up with for the thyme infused gin. I tried a few different methods to juice the apple, including (but not limited to)

-Putting it in a blender

-Muddling it at the bottom of the shaker

-Shouting at it

In the end, I would recommend just using apple juice. Or if you’re a real adult and have a juicer of some sort, use that.



Rosemary Infused Gin Cocktail; New Beginnings, Old Drinks, Gut Feelings


It’s been approximately eight million years since I last posted here, but alas, I’m back. I’m sure all five people who read this will be pleasantly surprised.

Now that I’ve built this post up to be a long awaited “goodie”, let me waste no time getting into the details.


2 oz London Dry Gin (I used the ever wonderful Bombay Sapphire)
2(ish) oz Rosemary Infused Simple Syrup (directions below)
1(ish) oz Lime Juice

Combine in shaker filled with ice. Sh-sh-shake it, baby. Just don’t shake the baby. Or put it in the corner. Nobody does that.

Garnished with orange zest. Or anything else you want. Hopefully you make your garnish look better than mine.

Rosemary Infused Simple Syrup Directions:

1) Combine equal parts sugar and water in pot (I did 1 cup:1 cup)
2) Decide it’s not enough sugar
3) Pour some more sugar into the water straight from the box so you have no idea how much you added. I went with the “Gut Feeling” method to determine when to stop adding sugar.
4) Heat and stir until all sugar is dissolved. I’ve read a couple different places to NOT let the syrup ever get to a boil. If you’re feeling dangerous, go ahead. Boil. Toil. Trouble.
5) Add in rosemary stem leaf twig things (I got mine prepackaged in the store.) I also went with “Gut Feeling” to determine how many I should use. 4 or 5 looked fine. 6? Excessive, but I added it anyway. Sometimes you have to live on the edge.
6) Allow rosemary to sit in the simple syrup. Stir occasionally and taste more than occasionally.
7) After some time has passed, get impatient and make this drink with it.
8) Discover how deliciously this pairs with gin.
9) Pat yourself on the back.
10) Remove rosemary and pour into whatever container you’ve chosen to hold it in. I chose a mason jar. Felt rustic. And hip. Hipstick (not to be confused with lipstick).

Of all the moments I’ve had in my life, this is one of my most proud. This drink is delicious. Unfortunately, it’s been quite some time since I last drank it on account of my not updating this blog as frequently as I should have, so the best I can do to describe it is to say that I weep every day I don’t drink it. And that you, kind reader, should do yourself a favor and make it immediately. Or as soon as possible. I mean, whenever you get time. Like, no pressure.

Rum Swizzle, Bizzle

Rum Swizzle, Bizzle

Ingredients: 2 dashes Angostura Bitters 3 oz Rum Pineapple Juice (to taste) Orange Juice (to taste) Served over ice. This drink was fantastic. Refreshing, tropical, and–due in part to the name–inherently gangstaa. I was gifted angostura bitters and discovered the … Continue reading

Pina Coladajito

Pina Coladajito

Ingredients 2-3 oz Vodka 1 oz Coconut Rum 1/4 cup Pineapple Juice 1/3 cup Rose’s Mojito Cocktail Mix Topped with Club Soda I think if I were to look back at everything I’ve accomplished in my lifetime, nothing quite measures … Continue reading

Vegan Espresso Latte Vodka Martini Blah Blah Blah

Vegan Espresso Latte Vodka Martini Blah Blah Blah

Ingredients 1 1/2 oz Espresso Infused Vodka (instructions below) 1/2 cup Almond Milk (sweetened, flavored, or unsweetened depending on personal preference) Splash Vanilla Extract Dash Cinnamon Dash Nutmeg Serve chilled or over ice. How-To: Espresso Vodka 1) Pour vodka into … Continue reading

Sweet Revenge, May We Be Friends?

Sweet Revenge, May We Be Friends?

Ingredients 2 oz Sweet Revenge Liqueur 1.5 oz Banana Liqueur 1 oz Grenadine Some Club Soda This drink tasted exactly how it sounds: sweet, strong, and with hints of banana. I’ve said it multiple times, and I’ll say it again, … Continue reading

Black Tea Tequila and Pinapple Soda; Yes, Black Tea Tequila is as Bad an Idea as it Sounds

Black Tea Tequila and Pinapple Soda; Yes, Black Tea Tequila is as Bad an Idea as it Sounds

Ingredients: 2 1/2 oz. Black Tea Infused Tequila (directions below, if you dare) $1 Pineapple Soda As much Club Soda as you can add without over-filling your glass Step-By-Step How-To: Black Tea Tequila 1) Pour tequila into a jar (I … Continue reading

Green Tea Ice Cream Vodka; or, Be Still My Heart

Green Tea Ice Cream Vodka; or, Be Still My Heart

Ingredients: 4 oz. Green Tea Infused Vodka (directions below) 1 oz. Chocolate Syrup 1/2 cup Unsweetened Almond Milk 1/2 tsp. Sugar 1 handful Ice 2 drops Green Food Coloring (Optional. A very good option, ┬ábut optional.) Blended. Step-By-Step How-To: Green … Continue reading

Stop Hurting Mary! (Michelle’s Bloody Mary)

Stop Hurting Mary! (Michelle’s Bloody Mary)

Ingredients: 2 oz Vodka (I used New Amsterdam) Spicy Tomato Juice 1-2 oz Hot Sauce (I used Frank’s Hot Sauce. Again, not the person, the company.) Generous pinch of Celery Salt Generous pinch of Tajin 1/2 oz Juice of Peperoncini … Continue reading